Wow I didn’t realize it has been a couple months since I posted last. I tell you life gets crazy and I get swooped up every time. But at least I come back 😉
I recently went to the women’s conference at my church and one of the speakers we watched was Bianca Olthoff. I immediately fell in love with her. Just the way she has with words and her exciting tone. I urge you to listen to some of her stuff!
I was listening to her content on right now media on the book of Ruth. She said something about Naomi that I hadn’t really thought about. At the beginning of the book she is on her way back to Bethlehem, her husband and sons have died. She literally has nothing. Eventually Orpah goes back to Moab but Ruth stays with her. When they get to town and Naomi sees her old family and friends instead of praising God she is downright honest. She says she is hopeless, nothing left.
How many times do we have moments like that? I know scriptures say to praise God in those moments. I truly believe that but I also believe we need those honest moments. It brings me back to 3 and half years ago when I was starting out this journey I didn’t sign up for in this way. I didn’t start out praising God very much. In fact I was kind of the opposite. I got really depressed and felt hopeless like Naomi. In that moment I felt God took everything away from me. Down and out.
I wasn’t literally without but my life was so much different and without a miracle would be for the rest of my life. This is not what I asked for when I said for Him to use me… Funny how He answers us different from how we think He should.
To be even more honest (it doesn’t say that Naomi does this but I can only imagine) I was angry with God. Better believe I told Him too. I wanted a why and all He could give me is a who. I got even more angry. I don’t want The Who I want the why. Why did you give me this incurable nerve disease that little know about.
I have to wonder if I would have ever gotten past that if I wasn’t honest with Him or with others. If I hadn’t spoke it. I was real. At first I was depressed and didn’t want to go there. But once I did, once I allowed myself to feel it and be honest with God, He changed my heart and my perspective.
Now this didn’t happen over night…and I still have moments where I am real with my tribe and say I’m feeling hopeless. Over time though God has used that to make me feel the hope again. I still don’t have the why but now I believe the WHO. I believe God is going to bring my miracle some day and until then He will get me through day by day.
The takeaway that I hope this piece of my story brings to you is be real and honest like our girl Naomi in the book of Ruth. Read her story on what God uses her nothing for. A lot to learn from this amazing book, one of my favorites.
Warrior for Christ 