Unpredictable…just writing that word I cringe. I like to be in control. I like to follow through with my plans. This is something else that has been thrown out the door now. But again God knows what He’s doing, if I’m in control then He’s not!
CRPS has no rules. It’s going to hit whenever it feels like however it wants to. Wait I don’t know how to do that…
I have been so blessed with the most amazing people in my life that totally understand this. They don’t get mad at me when I call them up the morning of and have to back out. These are the real deal!
But it definitely can put a strain on any relationship. Also it’s hard to explain to others who have no idea. But I really have NO control. I can’t look at the weather and say well tomorrow it’s down 5 degrees so I will be in bed all day. No it is going along and everything is fine and then boom I’m down for the count.
Between pain in my leg, extreme fatigue, or it flaring in a different place of my body. My head is the worst. Like tonight I was doing just fine and out of nowhere it flared in my face. It’s excruciating pain PLUS I get so much fluid build up that it puts pressure on my brain too. I’m still trying to find techniques or supplements to ease this pain more often. The stimulator works great for my leg because it’s specific for those nerves.
Some symptoms is I get blurred vision, very unstable, feel nauseous, and my head feels like it’s full of pressure. Very uncomfortable and a little scary.
Another way that God is working in me. He is the only one in control. He is the only one that is predictable. Yes he is ALWAYS predictable!
Again another way is I struggle with the guilt. I feel like I let others down. I’m doing a terrible job. I just have to remind myself that I didn’t ask to have this. If they can’t understand that then that is there problem. I will pray for them!
Takeaway: Please have patience with others that are dealing with not just chronic pain but other things too. Also have patience for yourself. Life is so unpredictable. It’s suppose to be. If not why would we need God?! He’s predictable when nothing else is. He never falls short of this. Enter prayer! Invite the predictable One in. 💜
Warrior for Christ 