Purpose

Happy first day of Fall! I dont know if I have mentioned before but I am a photographer along with being a stay at home mom. Taking pictures is my happy place. It’s where I can release my creative side. The fall time is a photographer’s craziest time. The weather is cooler, the leaves become pretty colors. Just all of the right elements to make perfect family pictures. Along with family pictures I do some youth sports at the local schools.

So my fall has been BUSY! Plus my family comes first so constant running between fields and schools. My posts will not be consistent by far.

As I am getting my body ready for the cold some other things have come up along the way. I am doing physical therapy on my neck with minimal relief. We have to go super slow as it just flares up the pain. Yet another process is being added to my journey.

First step is to see an ENT, figure out of if the fluid build up in my ear is causing the radiating pain. The pain doctor is doubtful but it would be the least evasive route so we start here. I have an appointment scheduled for next Monday.

If he says that my ears are not causing it then we start the process of what he is thinking it is (also what my chiro is thinking too). It is a ruhmetoid arthritis, cervical spondylosis. Again no cure but there are ways to help lessen the pain. It is a process of injections. They have to find the trigger points. Then they will try to kill of the sensitivity part of the nerve. The relief can last up to 2 years.

My chiropracter actually has a feeling she knows which 2 vertabraes are being effected. Both are at the top part of the spine. I’ve had so many appointments the last few weeks just trying to get some form of releif. It effects mostly the right side of my head/neck. The pain is so severe.

And here I am again. Frustrated. Defeated. Alone. Tired. Exausted.

I was reading a devotion tonight and it really hit me. When hard times happen we question God, “Why me?”. This auther of this devotion said that God responded to her, “Why not you?”. Kind of powerful if you understand God said we will struggle.

God talks to us in many different ways. For me as I have said before music is probably top, but He also speaks to me through others. Along with this devotion she says the 6 things that suffering does to a believer. I want to share them: You realize every breathe depends on God. Can’t be independant on yourself! It refines us but doesn’t destroy us. We are able to boast in our weakness. Be a witness, which is what I hope to do. Strengthen your faith. It is purposeful. And it all points to Jesus. (Beauty in the Beast: Bible App)

These are all things that God has shown me these past 4 1/2 years. These points are what help me come out on the other side. I just need to be reminded from time to time! My struggle. My illness. It all points to Jesus. And that’s all I could ever ask for!

❤ Angie