Ever get tired of life knocking you down over and over? I have really been struggling with that lately. I go through bouts of it but this one over the weekend was typically worse. I honestly wanted to just give up. I questioned why am I even trying. Is this worth it?
My friend, IT IS worth it! Every aching minute is worth it. Every tear is worth it.
I poured out my heart to God immediately. I was feeling numb, nothing, just a shell. I wanted to be done, but I knew better. You see there is someone just waiting for us to say “Help me”. I prayed that God would fill me with the Holy Spirit, His spirit. I know that my strength is not enough. My strength is never enough. God knows that, which is why He sent His Spririt to help us.
Guys He did just that. The words barely left my lips and I could feel this warmth. A warmth I can’t explain. I have felt it before, especially during those low moments. It is the BEST feeling in the world. Its an only God warmth. Those thoughts of wanting to throw the towel in quickly vanished. I quickly remembered who I was fighting for. The tears began to flow from my eyes. I have to make sure my kids know who Jesus is. They can’t do that if I just give up.
I was quickly reminded that God loves them and I dont have to try so hard with them. He’s got them in the palm of His hand. His love for them is even greater than mine. He reminded me that I am here now because He placed me here. I am to show His love to others. He didn’t stop there.
The next morning at church one of the songs we sang was the song that really started this journey. We havent sang it in awhile either, so I know even more it was God. It was “Oceans” (by Hillsong United). “You call me out upon the waters, the great unknown where feet may fail, and there I find You in the mystery, in oceans deep my faith will stand. And I will call upon Your name, and keep my eyes above the waves, when oceans rise, my soul will rest in your embrace, for I am Yours and You are mine….” This was the start of this beautiful story that God has written for me. I chose to step out, where my feet may fail. I chose this because I wanted to fully embrace what God had for me. He reminded my why I am fighting each and every day. This is where I can fully embrace Him and share His goodness with others. This is what we are called to do.
The Holy Spirit is just there waiting for us to ask Him in. Jesus sent his Spirit to be our helper until he returns. I am learning more and more the importance of the Spririt in our lives. He is there to help guide us in this world. To know right from and wrong and to give us strength because it is certain our strength will not get us very far in this sinful world.